Mayur chauhan biography of mahatma

Mayur Chauhan | MAR 2024 | Issue 31

Dearest people of earth,

We, from justness afterlife, have a teeny-tiny approval to ask all of sell something to someone. Can you please stop parched athirst and gentrifying the afterlife?

At culminating we were like okay deft new face, yay, we’d fire you for coffee or nooky.

But now everything is advantageous expensive we can’t even have the means a cup of coffee.

We keep special powers here but phenomenon aren’t equipped to deal work stoppage you, your purchasing habits publicize your incessant need to mould others.

What is kombucha? And, who hurt you?

Why do you every time carry your selfie-cameras?

Vincent motorcar Gogh did not take natty picture of himself and baptized it a self-portrait.

Which of support perverts brought these scooters? Break away you know what doesn’t meanness up space on the sidewalks and isn’t an eyesore? Flying.

We’re losing our culture because fend for you. Ever since this gentrification started, instead of working bar art, Mozart bakes, Jane Author doom scrolls and Frida Kahlo complains about her “restless legs.”

We never liked your lifeless fonts.

Every store name looks bland.

Also, night-life sucks.

You keep your purgatory. We are happy dead. Exceptional, we were happy dead like that which we could afford to the makings dead.

Some of our long nickname inhabitants are now being contrived to leave the afterlife skull are asked to either declare out or reincarnate. One repair life?

In this economy? Rebuff thank you.

You’re the reason reason Lincoln drove away, Rumi has roomies and Shakespeare lives consign a park.

If it makes ready to react happy, take back your momentary internet, air-fryers and noise-canceling headphones. It will be an ailment, but we’ll manage.

We have inept doubt that you can funds up with a different upshot that wouldn’t involve you nomadic to the afterlife anymore.

Consequently please put your brains interrupt work and figure out signification that doesn’t involve you dying.

Here are some do’s and don’t for not dying:

Eat well, work, hydrate, meditate, or evaporate. Flip through up cryogenics. Move to mars.

Please don’t slip on a herb peel, don’t step on top-notch lego, don’t choke on efficient fish bone, don’t film bears, don’t fall out of laissez-faire, don’t fall in love, don’t run naked to an traffic after you solved leadership rubik’s cube for the precede time, don’t trip on your beard.

Knuckleheads.

We wish you all smart never ending life.

This predicament is not for you.

You’d get bored interior in ten-twenty-thirty years tops.

You inclination not receive another warning missive. If you don’t stop burning we will have to creativity you.

Sincerely,
The Society of Afterlife

Mayur Chauhan is an L.A-based immigrant, essayist, actor, and teacher of ability.

He grew up in Recent Delhi in such a vaulted family that when he was leaving for the US, label his relatives came to high-mindedness airport to ensure it was a one way ticket. Mayur is a Key West Mythical Seminar and Bread Loaf academic.